Psychologically dealing with the PM role
tl;dr — remember my purpose, that we’re all human, and that PMs work best in healthy teams.
Today’s goal is to remind myself of how best to deal with the psychological stresses of being a PM.
I want to create products that make lives better. I’m listening to Suave Music for Baking today.
There’s something about the PM role that can be overwhelming. Inevitably, most PMs end up swamped with too much information — decisions to make, analyses to do, bugs to triage, interviews to run — and it feels like if you make the wrong call, it’s your fault. This can be stressful, especially if your product is responsible for funding people’s salaries and livelihoods. Bad decisions can tank a company and put people out of work.
How can we make the PM job less psychologically demanding and more psychologically safe? I’ve heard many times that the PM role can feel lonely, and it’s sad to say that I’ve seen far too many PMs burn out.
Understanding and managing the PM role
Many PMs I know will try meditation, therapy, or even a little something “extra” to calm the nerves. :) These haven’t worked for me, and instead, I’ve found that internalizing and clarifying my role and responsibilities has been most effective for me.
What does that mean? In my opinion, there’s a few things that PMs and their teams need to get on the same page about:
- Remember the purpose of having PMs.
- Understand that PMs, like all other people, are human.
- Realize that PMs are most effective when supported by the team.
I highly recommend getting yourself and your cross-functional partners aligned on these three points. This helped me better manage expectations for how effective I can be as a PM.
Managing expectations on responsibilities
- IMO, ultimately PMs are responsible for helping teams focus on WHAT to do and WHY. We don’t hire PMs to triage bugs or write PRDs, those are just things you do to facilitate the end goal. It’s important to remember our real purpose as PMs, and not get lost in the todo-list.
- If I had a penny for every time a seasoned engineer had a bug in their code, or a UI design was confusing, or a VP made a questionable call… Let’s just remember that we’re all human, we all make mistakes, and we’re all trying our best. Your PMs are no different. There is a lot that is out of our control and sphere of influence, and our superpower is helping the team navigate the changing tides together.
- Finally, PMs really shine when supported by a strong team. Great engineering/UX/legal/marketing/sales partners help build great products; a weak team results in more bugs, user confusion, liabilities, low adoption, inadequate revenue, etc. Psychologically, it’s important to give each person on the team our trust to do their best. We can still ask for clarifications and verify their work — but do it in a way that creates a culture of helping each other be better.
What if I got it wrong?
Sometimes, you just get it wrong. It happens.
In our quest to figure out “what to do and why,” it’s important to realize that the “what” may not always be perfect and the “why” may be based on the inaccurate data, but as the PM, it’s my responsibility to lead the team in the best direction, until the data proves otherwise. If we set expectations correctly and are transparent with how we’re making decisions, with ourselves and our teams, then there’s more forgiveness and togetherness when we run into mistakes.
Remember what it’s all about
Whenever I get lost in the weeds of work, I remind myself that I’m here for the team. As my product team evolves and as its needs change, so will I have to change and adapt to its latest, greatest problems. The PM role is interesting and dynamic: the job continually changes and requires different strategies and approaches to tackle new problems as they arise. If we do it right, we’ll become a natural guide, protector, and champion for the team.
Be wary of doing things just because they are routine — make sure to take a moment every now and then to re-evaluate whether what we’re doing makes sense: what is the most important thing right now… and why?
